Sunday, November 2, 2008

Poor Poor Pitiful Me

Liv's pretends to talk on the phone and bake at the same time - like mom, of course!

It was my third weekend alone with the girls (aside from the half-hour kite adventure last weekend with DH). You would think that a book club meeting on Thursday night, a Lisbon tour with the spouses' group all day Friday, and a dinner out with a girlfriend on Friday night would rejuvenate me. I would wake up Saturday morning excited to spend the entire weekend with my girls, right? Nope! I don't know what got into me - but, I am, admittedly, burnt out! Please, someone give my husband some free time with his family before his wife loses it and his kids think he deserted them!

As I went to bed on Friday night, all I could think about was sleeping in on Saturday morning. I wondered how long my body would sleep if it were able to do so uninterrupted. I craved a weekend of quiet. All I wanted was to crawl into bed with my new book and read until my heart's content. Pajama and take-out weekend of doing nothing!

By 6:50am on Saturday morning, I was hugging a feverish-looking (but not, actually, feverish) three-year-old, green snot dripping down out of her nose, smeared across her chin and drying on her cheeks. As she screamed for breakfast, repeating her requests over and over again, she woke up her sister. As I rushed through trying to make breakfast and feed the starving toddlers, I thought, "How am I going to make it through this weekend without losing my sanity? How can I find a way to be nice to my kids when I just want to sleep, read and be by myself?"

Out of ideas, Saturday morning, I let them draw on and cut nearly everything they wanted. Later, we went to the park, where I tried to sit and read a book (yeah, right) while they played. I fed them noodles with butter no less than three times as meals. I tried to make up for a nutrition-lacking diet with homemade yogurt drinks blended with berries, bananas and honey. I managed to read them a book here, a book there, in between doing laundry, mopping floors, picking up, picking up, trying to remain calm and sneaking in half a chapter here, half a chapter there.

This morning, as thoughts of escaping to a local spa and blowing my husband's hard-earned (and he is working his a** off these days) money came to mind, I decided to let Olivia help me make pumpkin muffins, hoping that that was all the one-on-one attention she would need for the day (or until Lila woke up and they played, happily, together, while I sat my butt on the couch and read). As we finished the muffins, Lila woke up. Snotty and yelling, "Mama, I sick! I sick! I go in the Ergo!"

Within an hour, I had two naked toddlers (because why keep clothes on when you're sick and it's colder than it's been since April?) , snotty, and uninterested in anything and everything except me. Since both were feverish today, I kept them at home. Olivia begged to fill up and go in her baby pool (it's freezing out) and threw a tantrum when I said no. Lila begged to go to the beach (In the Ergo, of course).

When nap time came around and I closed each of their doors, silence enveloping me, I ran to my bed, crawled under the covers, opened my book, read a few pages and, eyes dropping, fell asleep...For all of two minutes until my body betrayed me and refused me sleep. I could feel a sore, slimy throat and itchy nose coming on. I needed sleep and yet it wouldn't come! Am I in for it this week! One sick mom and two sick kids equals a recipe of tears, snot, tissues, hugs and hope - hope for a reprieve in DH's schedule! We could all use a little TLC right now. But, then again, so could he!

Despite it all, we made it through the weekend. And, tonight, as Olivia bathed, she cracked me up when she said something that proves she is my daughter (read: mom is germophobe):

"Mom, my friend, Maria, at school, said that there was a kid in our school (read: her class), a boy, who was there sick. She said I might catch a cold from him. I did. I got my cold from him. Just like Maria said. He brings medicine to school. I don't have any medicine at school."

Maria doesn't speak a lick of English. Maria is her second-best friend in school (Carolina is her big big friend - as her teacher says. Teacher doesn't speak too much English either). When I'm taking pity on myself and feeling self-absorbed and selfish, leave it to one of my girls to snap me out of "it, "give me a good laugh and feeling of pride - because I know Olivia had to translate that, in her head, in order to tell me that story.

Way to go Liv!


The Dunns said...

Oh! I'm so sorry! I TOTALLY know how you feel. Fortunately, we've had a lot of good lately (even through a whole week of stomach viruses) but I know that trapped feeling. For me, I just want to yell, "Leave me alone!" sometimes. I know it's not possible. But, hey, that's what I'm feeling and I might as well acknowledge it. I hope you get good sleep and weather this storm quickly and easily. Steve likes to say that instead of praying that his burdens be lifted from him, he prays that God would give him strength to shoulder his burdens. That is my prayer for you, that you be given strength when you need it.

I liked Pillars of the Earth a lot. Follett is a great storyteller! But I've found that he is just a little too graphic for me (in others of his stories, too), so I don't think I'll be able to read his sequel. I just finished The Curse of Chalion, a fantasy (think Tolkein, but no elves or hobbits, just people) by an incredible storyteller, Lois McMaster Bujold. It's set in kind of the same period. I couldn't put it down and with all of us sick this last week we did a lot of "watching boy movies while mommy read on the couch". Nice!

Deb said...

Get better soon. The sun will soon be out and will shine on you all. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and Matt will soon be back with you all. Until then, be strong and keep smiling...

Angie said...

Since having kids, have you ever been able to spend a weekend reading to your heart's content? I remember those weekends, prechildren, though. I go through periods where I get kind of obsessed with reading and ignore my children to do so. Right now, I guess I'm more obsessed with quilting.

On a completely unrelated note, I think you've mentioned before that your mom sends you Vermont maple syrup. It may be a particular brand that you like, but the commissary here has an organic Vermont brand. Maybe yours does too?

Angie said...

And, oh, yeah, like Pillars of the Earth. I didn't realize it was an Oprah book, though. I hear people complain about Oprah's book club with an eye roll, but I think she picks darn good books.