Chasing Patience

It's that time of the year. We're all thinking about what we want to achieve in 2009. Last year, I made a long list. I achieved, oh, I don't know, one or two things.

I have a zillion things I am forever trying to work on that don't need to be listed. Here is short list of what stands out in my mind this year:

1. Patience. Get more. Self-explanatory. It's on almost every parent's list, every year.
2. Pounds. Lose some. On my list last year and, surprisingly, I did lose quite a bit during the last half of year (possibly a post topic, in the future). Just a few more to reach my goal.
3. Photos. Organize them. On list last year. Did not accomplish.
4. Calmness. I tend to get fired up over matters beyond my control. I need to learn to shut up, calm down and wait it out. Usually, things turn out alright.
5. Quiet time with girls. More books, more projects. More sitting down together with them.

If we move back to the States:

1. Take class to become a CLC (certified lactation counselor) through the Healthy Children's Center for Breastfeeding and use it to get a part-time job.
2. Take King Aurther Baking Classes (or through a comparable cooking school or beg an expert friend to teach me). I really enjoy making my own breads and doughs. But, darn it, I need to get past the very basics.
3. Buy local.

That's it. Forward progress begins now!

Staying at Home and Loving It?

At least ten of you noticed the poll I had on the sidebar last week. Most of you voted that being a stay-at-home parent is the hardest job you've ever had, a couple of you voted that you have a love/hate relationship with it and a few others had comments in between. For those of you who voted (and those who didn't), I thought I'd share my thoughts.

Being a SAHM mom, for me, is the hardest job I've ever had. I like being a SAHM. I do not love it. There are times of tremendous joy and times of guilt and frustration. There are no coffee breaks, no quiet moments at a desk with a hot cup of strong coffee. No lunch breaks, no vacation or sick days. Your boss: Demanding toddlers, emotions flipping from wonderfully happy and loving, to whiny and miserable, often unable or not open to reason.

It can be very rewarding. You are there for all the firsts. First smile, first time rolling over, first words, first steps, and so on. You catch all the really endearing and smart things that come out of their mouths. You raise your kids your way. You know exactly what is going on in their daily lives, which isn't always the case when they spend nine-ten hours daily at a daycare. You have the freedom to go where you want with them, when you want. They grow before your very eyes and you feel pride in knowing it was all you.

On the other hand, as a fellow blogger recently wrote, "It's like being hen-pecked." Often, you don't even get bathroom privacy. You find yourself trying finish your bathroom, um, duty, with kids trying to climb on our lap or running in to tattle. You are on call 24-7! You spend your entire day troubleshooting toddler antics, soothing, wiping, feeding, entertaining and sometimes, you find yourself wishing nap time would come already - just so, you can have some private time and room to breath. Surrounded by toddlers day in and day out, there are times when you feel trapped in your own home, mentally unstimulated (due to lack of adult conversation). Especially when your spouse is away and it's a rainy or snowy mess outside. Again, it's all on you. All the time. And, when you don't make a good decision about something or find yourself yelling at your kids, that's all on you too. Your patience and sanity are always being tested.

It's just not always a fun job and I think we deserve the luxury of complaining (venting, whatever you want to call it) about it from time to time. That's why we have blogs and networking channels online. When stay-at-home parents blog about the tremendous joys and trials, we find an online community of support. Blogging helps us feel better. We can laugh and cry along with other parents. Do you know how good it feels when someone blogs about the very thing that's been on your mind? You find relief and comfort in knowing you aren't alone!

I've heard, through the grape vine, that some people feel that I complain too much about mothering on my blog. I thought about opening up a blog that was just pictures and cute quotes. However, I decided against it.

If you click on many of the blog links on my sidebar, you'll find that many of the bloggers share exactly what I share: Joys and trials. We rant, rave, brag. Some of us blog in great detail (me) and some are a bit vague or abbreviated when it comes to sharing their trials. That doesn't mean they are having an easier time. They just chose to be more private about it or don't use their blog as an outlet. Each blogger has his or her personal style. For many of us, our blogs are online journals of sorts. I'm one of the ones willing (and wanting) to share all the wonderfully happy times and the not-so-great times.

Embracing toddlerhood. One hug, one laugh, one milestone and one tantrum at a time!

Cadiz, Spain

Monument to the Constitution of 1812

Soggy and disappointed, we left Gibraltar and drove back to Rota, Spain. Later in the afternoon, we found ourselves at the checkout line at the Nex. You all know I love to talk. So, as Matt was loading up our bags, I struck up a conversation with a young man behind us in line. Matt, momentarily annoyed that I wasn't helping, was trying to get me to disengage and move out of the store. Oblivious, I just kept chatting away and, after explaining that our trip to Gib didn't go well, he suggested (now that it as sunny), a 40-minutes drive to the city of Cadiz. I thanked him for his suggestion, made a mental note, and, finally, helped the family out to the car.

As we buckled our seat belts, I mentioned Cadiz to Matt. Eager to get out, walk and just DO SOMETHING, he agreed we should go, though we knew very little about Cadiz and, therefore, had no idea what we would find.

Cadiz Shoreline

Turns out, Cadiz is "the oldest continuously-inhabited city in the Iberian Peninsula and possibly all of southwestern Europe." - Wikipedia

Roman Ruins

We quickly discovered three walking tours around the city. The tours were conveniently marked by continuous different colored lines on the roads. We took two of the tours, walking on ancient streets, passing ancient buildings and then walking in the newer, modern sections of town.

The Old Town Hall


Arco de la Rosa

At dinnertime, we slipped into a restaurant and enjoyed Spanish wine, tortillas and a local pork dish. For dessert, next door to the restaurant, we each enjoyed a cone of the best ice cream in the world! Yummy, Ben & Jerry's!

As we were leaving, we caught a few minutes of flamenco dancing taking place for the locals in the plaza. It was a great end to a surprisingly wonderful day! I'll leave you with a short video of the dancing:

Gibraltar

The family at The Star Pub in Gib - Frizzy haired and damp from the rain

Sometimes, things just don't go as you hoped or planned. Our Gibraltar trip was one of those times. We promised the girls a trip up on "the rock" to see the monkeys and we were unable to fulfill that promise. It rained the entire time we were in Gib. For lunch, we dined on lovely British fare and beer and then found a hotel, all the while hanging onto hope that we would wake up to sunnier skies in the morning.

As you probably know, Gib's location makes it possible to take a short ferry ride to Morocco. So, when I saw a sign for a Moroccan restaurant, I practically begged Matt to take us there for dinner, thinking the food must be superb, being so close.

The place was a DIVE (dirty and the size of a large closet)! Once we walked in, and the elderly gentleman running the establishment greeted us, I felt we could not leave. Without getting into details, I will say this: The restaurant would have, long ago, been shut down by the health department in the US. Olivia seemed to pick up on this as soon as entered and began to scream:

"I can't eat here! It's not big enough! I need to eat at a bigger restaurant! I won't eat here! I won't!"

Matt assured me that he ate at worse establishments in Iraq and that it would, most likely, be fine. He then took Olivia outside, in hopes of calming her down while I ordered.

Notice Olivia's displeasure, in the picture above. It depicts, clearly, how she felt about being forced into eating at an establishment that did not meet her expectations. However, the couscous was the best we've ever had and the dish of chicken, potatoes, carrots and cauliflower was very good. Olivia's hunger eventually got the best of her, and she stuffed her face as if she hadn't had a bite to eat all day. To our surprise, none of suffered from any type of food poisoning and we enjoyed a rain-free walk back to our hotel.

The next morning, we woke up disappointed. We had planned on taking a taxi tour of Gib. We decided, however, to save our money as it was unlikely we would see much of anything and would only get drenched.

The above, crappy, picture is the only one I was able to get of "The Rock." I snapped it, hanging out of my car, as we drove back into Spain - heading back to Rota for another night's stay on the Naval Base.

In the car, Matt and I briefly discussed what a waste of time and money our trip was. Sometimes, it just happens. Despite your best laid plans, it just doesn't work out. If the kids were older, we would have stuck around and dealt with the rain. When you have a two and three-year-old, it's a bit more complicated...I suggested that we come back at a later date, as there is so much to see that the kids would enjoy. It may or may not happen.

Later, however, we would take an unexpected detour and realize that the whole trip was not a wash...stay tuned...