In 2010...

...I will continue to work on the things I'm always working on: Patience, patience, patience. Less time on the computer. More time in the gym. Cleaner house. Blah Blah Blah.

Top Two Goals:

I want to accomplish getting a handle on our food budget (Despite popular belief, I don't buy all organic. Organic food is not what's killing the budget. Nor is cereal, juice, granola bars, fruit snacks, candy bars, chips, crackers, cookies, ice cream, soda, bottled water, bread, etc). We spend too much money on food and I know that some of it is because I don't meal plan well. I decide the day of or two days before and end up spending more due to the lack of planning ahead. Meal plan. Meal Plan.

Secondly, I have to find a way to get the anxiety I have about my Meniere's Disease under control. Nearly every second of every waking hour, it's on my mind. I worry about when my next attack or flare up could be. Or, if I'm flared up, how long it's going to last. I wonder how much hearing I'll eventually lose. I wonder if I'll eventually struggle with daily vertigo and, possibly, lose my drivers license. I wonder how this could eventually effect my kids (I don't want to be the "sick" mom). I wonder if I'll ever get one ear ringing-free day. Just one damn day-is that too much to ask? The answer rings in my head all the time: NO!!! I don't have a silent world. Ever. I'm really angry about that. The problem with Meniere's is that stress elevates symptoms, spurs attacks and progression of the disease. When I was diagnosed, I was told this, "You can't have any stress in your life. Ever. It will progress the disease."

Husband in the military, deploying for a year (or more) at a time, moving every three years. Two kids. Yup. No stress here.

So, aside from exercise (read: stress reliever), I have to find another way to get it off my mind. It's a hard thing to do because I always have symptoms. I never have a symptom-free day. So, I'm constantly reminded. Since I don't look sick, I think it's hard for people get it. And, if you can't see it, you kinda just want the person with the problem to shut up already. I know there are several things I can do. I may turn to a therapist who deals, very specifically, with chronically ill patients. I know that I'm not alone in this. A lot of patients get regular acupuncture and weekly massage therapy. That's not going to fit into our current budget. But, I have to do something because it's affecting my quality of life. I should be enjoying all the good days I do have instead of worrying about what could happen...

Other than that, I'm hoping we have a healthy year (Meniere's-managment aside) and have a smooth move to wherever the Army sends us this summer!

Chasing Patience

It's that time of the year. We're all thinking about what we want to achieve in 2009. Last year, I made a long list. I achieved, oh, I don't know, one or two things.

I have a zillion things I am forever trying to work on that don't need to be listed. Here is short list of what stands out in my mind this year:

1. Patience. Get more. Self-explanatory. It's on almost every parent's list, every year.
2. Pounds. Lose some. On my list last year and, surprisingly, I did lose quite a bit during the last half of year (possibly a post topic, in the future). Just a few more to reach my goal.
3. Photos. Organize them. On list last year. Did not accomplish.
4. Calmness. I tend to get fired up over matters beyond my control. I need to learn to shut up, calm down and wait it out. Usually, things turn out alright.
5. Quiet time with girls. More books, more projects. More sitting down together with them.

If we move back to the States:

1. Take class to become a CLC (certified lactation counselor) through the Healthy Children's Center for Breastfeeding and use it to get a part-time job.
2. Take King Aurther Baking Classes (or through a comparable cooking school or beg an expert friend to teach me). I really enjoy making my own breads and doughs. But, darn it, I need to get past the very basics.
3. Buy local.

That's it. Forward progress begins now!

Resolutions

I never really make resolutions. I used to make them and then forgot about them by the end of the first week of January. This year, however, I'll attempt the following:

• Reduce portion sizes. Currently, I have no self-control. If a dish or dessert is good, I could eat every last morsel in the pan (and it shows on my fat arse). I recently read a tip I'll try: Serve your meals on a smaller plate (small salad plate) and don't go back for seconds.
• Eat more fish. We live on the Portugal coast. Why we don't eat fish on a weekly basis is beyond me and a bit shameful. There are fresh fish markets everywhere. Partially, it's because I don't really know how to cook fish well (I'm determined to take some fish-related cooking classes) and my husband is picky about fish. Especially since living in Alaska and consuming some of the best fish in the world.
• Continue to reduce and eliminate the amount of foods we consume with hydrogenated fat, artificial flavors, preservatives and coloring.
• Do more art and creative projects with my kids. Including building more sandcastles down at the beach!
• Aid my husband in financial management. Currently, Matt manages all the finances and that's really shameful on my part. While finances and investing are passions of his, I need to do more in watching what I spend and being aware of where we are at financially.
• Exercise!! Not easy to do here when all the gyms that have daycare are WAY beyond our budget and our double stroller is WAY too wide for any streets in our neighborhood. But, I am determined to at least get out most days of the week with Lila on my back, Liv in the stroller and walk for a full hour.
• Commit to planning two weeks of meals and stock up at the grocery store twice a month instead of twice a week (this would not include fresh ingredients and fruit).
• LEARN MORE PORTUGUESE!!!! I know enough to somewhat get by. But, it's a beautiful Latin language that I need to commit more time to!
• Spend less time on the internet! I'm blogging and browsing addicted!

What are your resolutions?