Sunday, July 19, 2009

Embracing The Move

Baby Zoey: Our new niece/cousin.

I can't tell you how many times I've cried since we boarded our flight in Lisbon enroute to the States. I've cried silent tears and I have sobbed until my face was so red and puffy, I was hardly recognizable. I'm at the point where I don't want to hear how much I will love Kansas or how much I'll love living back in the States.

Sure. I have dear friends and family here. Obviously, it's good to be back. However, I could have spent the rest of my life, happily, in Portugal. I have a right to take time to mourn. I feel as if someone broke up with me. I understand that when I get to Kansas, it will be sort of like, "Welcome to: I Don't Care." Some wives will have hated their last duty station. Some will have loved it so much, they will think their duty station was just as nice or better than ours. Some people will think that I'm just plain crazy to have loved living in Europe so much. Some will be envious. Some will totally empathize as to why I wasn't so crazy about moving to Kansas. The really zealous military wives will remind me how I should embrace each (i.e., Kansas/Ft. Leavenworth) and every duty station and, if I can't, I should still put on a happy face and endure it (To that I say, "Blah, blah, blah, gag. Get over your overly-hooah military-spouse-self and face reality. Some duty stations simply and plainly suck and while not everyone needs to hear how much you hate a place all the time, you are allowed to dislike and (gasp!) even hate a place if you so well choose to!").

I hope that every military family gets their dream duty station someday. I got mine and now it's time to tuck my memories in my pocket (within easy reach), move on to a less-than-desirable duty station and embrace the much-needed family time we have been ensured to finally get!

Aside from the rain that welcomed us in Vermont, we are having a really good time. Last week, while Matt's parents watched the girls, Matt and I were able to spend some time with my best friend from high school, Laura, and her husband, Lee, in PA. Then, Matt took me into NYC. We toured Central Park, the Empire State Building and dined on American food (I must say, even a small coffee is super-sized in the States. I am not used to this much food and/or coffee!!). Matt was very patient while I did some shopping in Manhattan.

The girls have been really well-behaved, no one has been afflicted with illness (yet) and we've been able to reconnect with many dear friends and family. Matt leaves for Kansas on Sunday to in-process and house hunt. The girls and I have another week here and I look foward to meeting up with a couple of more friends I haven't seen in a while.

On a side note, I did two fairly rebellious or unordinary (for me) things before we moved. They were both combinations of celebrating all the weight that I've lost, taking control of something (being diagnosed with a chronic illness can hit you hard and can make you, maybe, a little eager to take control of something, if you can't always control the illness) and a middle-years' crisis: I cut my hair short, dyed it back to it's darker color, threw in some funky copper highlights (hard to see in pictures) and pierced my navel (no, it did not hurt). Craziness (for me). I know.

Posted are a few pictures of Matt and my trip to PA, NYC, and the new addition to our family (above). I'll post pictures of the girls at a later time:

Empire State Building. This was my first time up.

Times Square

Matt and I dining with our good friends, Laura and Lee in Philly

Laura and I

6 comments:

brenda said...

I think that I will do a few crazy things too...I think that ROCKS!

The Matthaidess' said...

Cute hair! Glad to see that you're having a good time even though you're still in mourning:-) I would miss Portugal too if I had lived happily there.

Tricia said...

Glad you and Matt had some time just the two of you. Exploring NYC is so much fun too. I can't wait to hear the rest of your updates.

Ana Kay said...

Hey Natalie, Matt and girls. Thank you for the report. I've read it, and I felt like if you were here in Portugal having Fryday lunch with me.We have had lots of 'good by' events lately, and it frightens me, because we will leave soon to. Missing you guys.

Jay and Amie said...

Love the hair! Glad you're back in the states. Even if you're not yet. Totally understand missing Portugal too though. You were born to live in Europe :)

Deb said...

Hope to see you before you head out to Kansas. Love all the updates you have shared.