Monday, December 14, 2009

Time for Blogging When I Have This?

Olivia acting as Lila's teacher at a preschool during nap time.

Is laundry ever really caught up?

Blogging, for some time now, has gone by the wayside. I used to be a blogging maniac. Blogging upwards of twice a day. Over the past several months, I've had to take extended blogging breaks. Some people have complained, some haven't really noticed. But, I have had an excuse.

I can't keep up. There is so much that I want to do in a day. If my mind wasn't so disorganized, I think I would be more productive. I don't know if there are that many parents out there who get headaches, spin in circles and just don't know where to begin their day. Usually, I get Matt out the door with his coffee and his lunch packed up. From there, it can go in any direction.

I always mean to get Olivia to school before 8:00am. I rarely do. I promise myself, every M,W, and F, that I will not be late for my body sculpting class. I almost always am. But, I do make it. Olivia usually makes it to school just as circle time in starting. I make it to the gym; there is consistency of some sort.

After the morning school and/or gym run, I have time to update my Facebook status and make a quick comment here or there. Then, I end up in the kitchen, making lunch, prepping dinner, answering a phone call, throwing in a load of laundry, and, inevitably, picking up messes like the one shown at the top of the page.

That picture, in fact, was taken today, right after I finished washing bathroom sinks, floors and toilets. That is how my two girls entertained themselves while I cleaned. I can't tell you how many times Matt and I have asked them NOT to play in the living room. Jeez, we need at least one room unexpected visitors can walk into and not be presented by a mess!

Ignoring the living room mess for a moment, I ran downstairs, grabbed a load laundry (also seen above) out of the dryer, threw another load in washer and dryer, and then began lunch. While I got lunch started, the girls left the messy living room, and headed downstairs. All was quiet for a bit. Too quiet. So, I went downstairs and found Olivia had stopped the washer, and dumped scoop after scoop of detergent into the dispenser. Said guilty child was sent to her room.

After I cleaned up the laundry mess, restarted the washer and came upstairs, I forgot about the blond headed mess-maker in time out and finished making lunch. By the time I remembered she was in time out, she had changed into another outfit and was having a grand time in her room with her sister.

We did sit down and have lunch together and I did finish folding that load of laundry and picking up the living room. And, they did go down for naps really well.

But, that seems to be my day, every day. If I get on to blog or spend too much time on the phone, computer or more than a few minutes reading a book, the house gets OUT. OF. CONTROL. I keep up with the very basics, but, we've lived here since August and already closets need to be reorganized. Summer clothes still need to be taken out of closets and drawers and put away. On top of that, I should really wash my baseboards, scrub the fridge out once again, wash down all my cabinets, dust, run our comforter to the laundromat (it won't fit in our washer), run to the grocery store (that is, after I plan meals for the week - which should have been done over the weekend) and the list just goes on and on. One step forward. Two steps back.

It never ends. I'm feeling guilty taking a time to blog right now. I could be doing so much. How dare I blog!

Right now, I'm thinking I just need a nap. I was up all night with a sick toddler (who's better this morning, thankfully). If I don't get sleep, I could give a hoot about cleaning or cooking or doing anything productive.

I don't know how some people do it. They are organized, their house is clean, they're caught up on good book reading, heck, some even take online classes to "work" their brain. Their little girls have perfectly braided or combed hair, their cars are shiny and even clean on the inside. I would just like to switch brain's with them for a day - because the organized/motivation part of my brain is broken - or it never existed in the first place. I worry all the time that I am failing my kids - teaching them my disorganized ways.

I try to look on the positive side. Our house is not trashed. It's mostly presentable (well, if you're a neat freak, you may be uncomfortable in my home - but, to the average person, it's a little cluttered - but, not, generally, dirty), I do read about a book a month (but, oh how I'd love to read more), and I do make most of our meals from scratch. So, while some people find it perfectly acceptable to regularly throw together a jar of pasta sauce and pasta for dinner or a boxed dinner, in order to spend more time cleaning and less time cooking I, generally, do not feel that way. My kids get all kinds of homemade things like homemade Indian or Thai curry, soups, yogurt drinks, bread, pizza, pancakes and so on. I rarely reach for a boxed meal (though, I will not lie - I do have a place for a quick meal of pasta and jarred sauce from time to time - I'm not a freak about homemade everything when time is tight, I am sick, etc). I enjoy pushing the limits (or expanding) my children's (and husband's) palates'. Food, even the making of it, brings me happiness. I can't tell you how great it feels when Olivia says, "I bet my friends' moms' don't make this." Or, "Mom, do all moms make yogurt drinks at home or do they buy them? Because I think yours are the best!" Or, when Lila says, "Mom, you have to make this soup every day, okay! Please mom?!"

Healthy, real food, but, always at a price. Frequent blogging is one thing that I've had to give up if I want to make clean, good food, read at least a little bit, keep up on DVR'd shows, get to the gym, and keep a bit of sanity. I'm trying to figure it all out. You'd think, now that I've been a mother for nearly five years, I'd a have it all figured out like so many other's seem to have done long ago. But, I haven't. Maybe, someday, it'll all click. In the mean time, I just try to smile through it, not compare myself to other parents too much, chug along and exercise often enough to keep myself sane. I will, however, talk dirty about the mother who says her house is dirty and when I walk in, unexpected, no less, it's spotless and she's apologizing for the mess! I mean, really?

I do miss blogging like I used to. So, I'm determined to keep up this blog better in 2010! I'll try not to whine too much.


Angie said...

Noone is doing it all. Noone. Yes, some might have a clean home and children who look perfect, but they eat frozen dinners and haven't read a book since their children were born. It's hard not to compare, especially because noone looks at your house and can see that you read a book, but they can see the mess. Blogging has fallen by the wayside for me, because I am sewing so much. Not cleaning. I have a huge pile of laundry to fold that Christopher has now pulled onto the floor. He is also now undecorating the tree. Don't put it on yourself that you are less for choosing to do something besides cleaning. It's all about priorities.

Mom said...

Trust me you can't do it all...and I have been a mom, hmmm let me see, almost 33 years....and I still don't get it right and none of you are home.....But I have seen you in action Nat, and I see you have a level head on your shoulders and give the kids some really awesome meals....and yes, You are a wonderful Mom!!!